How many pages does it take the BBC to say “because… Clarkson”?

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Tucked away at the bottom of a report on Horrible Histories is this gem on Chortle:

In a separate eight-page ruling, the separately rejected the complaints of a viewer who made several lengthy calls to the BBC demanding to know why Jeremy Clarkson had nicknamed the Nissan Qashqai the Nissan Kumquat on Top Gear.

Why not just send them a link to the Urban Dictionary?